Yes I "slip-up!"

I am happy to announce I am NOT perfect! There are things in our lives that come easier to ignore than others and when we give into those particular urges, behavioral patters, and even old addictions - we can't beat ourselves up! A few weeks ago I gave into temptation which ended with me screaming at myself, freaking out, and I was repenting like Jesus was coming back the next day. It was so insignificant that finally when I shut-up, I realized how much I was over-reacting! I then thought, "Ya'know I'm sincere in my repenting, God still loves me, I'm not a bad person..." 

I remind myself that everyone has their own personal convictions. What I may see as perfectly fine, someone else may totally disagree. It also comes down to respect for ourselves, our morals/values, and the relationship we have with Christ.

Some Questions

Do you question the reality of the truth?
Do you second guess nature and it's inevitable abilities?
Do you walk to the beat of your own drum?
Do you feel the inescapable throbbing of someone elses pain?
Do you glance beyond yourself to solve the problem of another?
Do you wake for you and you alone?
Does the cloudiness in your memory frustrate you to anger?
Does the constant ache for more than 'this,' seem never-ending?
Does the facial expression on your face when you see yourself in the mirror, reflect respect?
Does the pessimist in you thrive for something more uplifting?
Does your life exist around the standards others have placed on you?
Does life mean more to you than struggling to get out of bed and forcing yourself to be fake?
Is there no alternative for you?
Is there no other way for you to be genuinely happy?
Are the lies you've believed getting you anywhere?
Are the words you speak, words of death and destruction?
Is there hope for you?
Are you ready for a change?

...what are you waiting for?

Hi

I'm still here... for those of you that read this and are remotely curious about my absence. Of course I really haven't been away from here that long, just seems like it I guess.

I'll write more later. For now, I'm off to bed.

Time

I would give anything right now to be able to jump in my car w/ out telling anyone where I was going. Heck, I might not even know where I was going.
I want to breathe [new] fresh air, I want to lay in soft, green grass, and see the birds flying around me. I want to guess what shape the clouds are in the sky, and smell the blooming flowers. I would look around and all I could see for miles and miles would be nothing but hills, valleys, streams, trees, and vibrant color. I wouldn't have my cell phone, I wouldn't hear people talking, I wouldn't feel the heaviness in my head... I would have my pen and journal.
I would be absolutely care-free, and have no agenda. I would scream, laugh, cry, sing, and talk to God as if He was visibly right infront of me.

I need some time alone.

 

It's Official

Plans are officially under way for the Mission Trip I'm going on to Kosovo this summer! I have been approved to take the time off work, I'm in the process of finalizing my support letter, and I am pumped!

I know God has such a great plan for my life and this is absolutely part of it!

Yess!

&&...

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

I used to always get depressed every 14th of February. However, this year, that's not the case. Probably because I realize my day will come, and being single is NOT a curse!

Let's get real, I'm definitely not a fan of cleaning up after myself everyday. I like being able to throw my clothes on the floor until I do laundry, and place my toothbrush anywhere I want. I don't mind not having to cook every night for someone, muchless constantly keep the kitchen clean.

[No, I'm not as messy as it sounds]

So, on this day I like to call, "Singles Awareness Day..." I slept in till 11:20, helped my mom make lunch, watched a movie with my family, and on top of having great conversation... I still haven't showered OR brushed my teeth!

No one to impress and that's fine with me!

Herbs

I have recently become interested in herbs. My friend Dustin introduced me to this little bookstore called Peace of Mind, and though I've only been there once, I'm a fan! They have a lot of books about religion and the ones I'm drawn to most; art!

While we were looking around we walked into what was like a cubby-hole [so-to-speak] and there was an overwhelming aroma that made me want to pull up a piece of the wooden floor I was standing on and sit.

So, after some research on calming herbs and looking at the bookstores website to see what they carry... I'll be logging off here to go check out what might be something I become quite drawn to studying.

Challenges?! Seems like I'm an easy target this week!!

Challenge after challenge after challenge this week! I couldn't be happier right now knowing that tomorrow is Friday! I cannot tell you how many times I've wanted to give someone a taste of their own medicine!

In my personal opinion, if someone is going to correct me on something I did that happened once and was unintentional- also making it a BIG deal, when they've done exactly what they just corrected me on, on more occasions than I can count on my two hands... I lose a little respect for their character. You may think that's harsh too, but when it is ALL the time w/ multiple things - my flesh screams!

[Obviously, there are more things that have happened, but I'm not going to even get into them.]

Regardless of everything that's been thrown in my face this week- I'm listening to Worship Music, keeping my mouth shut, soaking in Joyce Meyer, and praying for peace beyond my understanding!

I can't keep my mouth shut and a positive attitude by myself, and let me tell you - IT'S HARD!

Thank you Lord - only one more day!

In my WEAKNESS, you MAKE ME STRONG

"...In the moment of my weakness you give me grace to do your will..." [None but Jesus - Hilsong]

When I get stressed, there's too much going on around me, I can't stop thinking, something comes up within my family/friends... basically, everytime I don't have control. I constantly find myself wanting something to ease the discomfort, and sadly my first thought isn't to grab my Bible or pray. I usually think about going to a bar or buying a pack of cigarettes.

Oh, how easy it is to succumb to the desires of the flesh.

However, the harder I fight the flesh, the stronger I become to ignore the temptations that will do nothing but bring me to a place of guilt and disappointment.

"...there is no one [nothing] else for me, none but Jesus..."

I listen to this song on repeat and it never gets old. I sing it throughout the day no matter where I am, and it gives me hope. It reminds me of the greatness of God and all He has equipped me for. When I sing this song, it's in thanksgiving to my Daddy God. The one who was "...crucified to set me free, and now I live to bring Him praise."